Dear Ann

Discuss the various aspects of Bernard Goldberg's "Bias," the smash bestseller with all the inside baseball from one of their own! Discuss the various aspects of Arrogance, the 2nd NYT's bestseller.

Dear Ann

Unread postby Bernie » Thu Mar 24, 2005 12:40 pm

Dear Ann:

I have a problem. I have two brothers. One brother is in television news, the other was put to death in the electric chair for murder. My mother died from insanity when I was three years old. My sisters are prostitutes and my father sells narcotics to high school students. Recently I met a girl who was just released from a reformatory where she served time for smothering her illegitimate child to death, and I want to marry her.

My problem is -- if I marry this girl, should I tell her about my brother who is in television news?
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Dear Ann

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Or another variation...

Unread postby JKersting » Sun Mar 27, 2005 9:34 pm

This one is a third grader answering the question asked to the class. "How does your father earn money for your family?"

Little Timmy told his class that his father was a piano player in a whorehouse. The teacher sent a note home to Timmy's mother and father. Timmy's mother saw the note and wrote the teacher back.

The note read: Timmy's father is not really a piano player in a whorehouse. He is a television journalist. We really do not want Timmy to grow up bearing the burden of knowing something like that. Please try to keep Timmy's classmates from telling him. Thank you.

---------------------------
This is the version I like better. It is also the one my wife uses. It is embarrassing when I get asked to play the piano at parties. Also, I'd hate to have my children know that I am a talk show host and radio traffic reporter. But I think they may already know. Oh well, you can only shelter them so long.
Jay Kersting
"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant, but that they know so much that isn't so. " Reagan
"Now more than ever before,the people are responsible for the character of their Congress.If that body be ignorant, reckless and corrupt, it is because the people tolerate ignorance, recklessness and corruption."Garfield
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Or another variation...

Unread postby JKersting » Sun Mar 27, 2005 9:49 pm

This one is a third grader answering the question asked to the class. "How does your father earn money for your family?"

Little Timmy told his class that his father was a piano player in a whorehouse. The teacher sent a note home to Timmy's mother and father. Timmy's mother saw the note and wrote the teacher back.

The note read: Timmy's father is not really a piano player in a whorehouse. He is a television journalist. We really do not want Timmy to grow up bearing the burden of knowing something like that. Please try to keep Timmy's classmates from telling him. Thank you.

---------------------------
This is the version I like better. It is also the one my wife uses. It is embarrassing when I get asked to play the piano at parties. Also, I'd hate to have my children know that I am a talk show host and radio traffic reporter. But I think they may already know. Oh well, you can only shelter them so long.
Jay Kersting
"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant, but that they know so much that isn't so. " Reagan
"Now more than ever before,the people are responsible for the character of their Congress.If that body be ignorant, reckless and corrupt, it is because the people tolerate ignorance, recklessness and corruption."Garfield
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Unread postby zola » Mon Jul 18, 2005 11:30 pm

Good stuff,

I actually don't recall hearing these jokes before - unless BG had them in his first two books and over time I just forgot.
:D
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Dear Bernie

Unread postby beniyyar » Fri Jul 22, 2005 4:29 am

Dear Bernie, I just wanted to let you know that I have read your book and thoroughly enjoyed it. The Left wing bias in the American media is awful, but the Bolshevik bias in the Israeli media is just horrendous, and unlike the States, there is no alternative to that bias in Israel. Every fault you mention regarding the American Left wing media exists here, but in a far more virulent form, and even in forms which are far more awful. Major stories which could really inform Israeli public opinion against the Left are routinely ignored, or receive almost no coverage. And when a story like it is covered it is always in a belligerent and prejudiced manner, emphasizing in a most negative way every aspect of the story, from the motives to the behavior of those involved. Similar stories about Left wing Israelis however are not just given more coverage, they are always given more sympathetic coverage, and since the news editors and reporters are usually members of the Left wing groups they cover, the average Israeli has no recourse but to either ignore the main stream media, or follow it like the Russians used to follow the news in the former Soviet Union, or just take our news from reliable sources on the internet. Bernie, you guys in America are really lucky, you can fight these people on a level playing field, over here, the Left owns the field, the referees, all the players, and the concession stand!
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RIDDLE

Unread postby ScottT » Wed Aug 10, 2005 12:32 am

QUESTION: What is the difference between a porcupine and Michael Moore, Ted Rall & Ward Churchill riding in a BMW?? ANSWER: A porcupine has its' pricks on the OUTSIDE!
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NEXT RIDDLE

Unread postby ScottT » Wed Aug 10, 2005 12:36 am

QUESTION: What would happen to Eminem if he took viagra?? ANSWER: He'd get TALLER!
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STORY

Unread postby ScottT » Wed Aug 10, 2005 12:52 am

Alfred Einstein went to a c bomb2 party one evening. After sparking up a conversation with another very well-versed guest, he asked him hwat his IQ was. "186", replied the guest. Einstein was VERY impressed, and suggested that perhaps the two get together sometime to discuss molecular structures & other stimulating topics. Later in the evening, he met a female guest. After some interesting chit-chat, Einstein asked the guest what HER IQ was. "144", she replied. Einstein was again very impressed, and suggested that the two have dinner sometime and discuss geometrical equations. About an hour later, Einstein bumped into a guy on his way out. After introducing himself, Einstein inquired about his IQ. "Thirty one", the guy answered. "Oh", responded Einstein, "How 'bout that new Ludicriss CD?!"
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STORY

Unread postby ScottT » Wed Aug 10, 2005 3:23 am

Yikes!!! Did I REALLY type "ALFRED Einstein"???!
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Re: STORY

Unread postby MrSinatra » Wed Aug 10, 2005 4:32 am

ScottT wrote:Yikes!!! Did I REALLY type "ALFRED Einstein"???!


as per Roy Munson in "Kingpin."
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steve1633 wrote:if you havent realized yet that pp posts offer little in the way of intelligent discourse then youre dumber than i suspected, if its just easier to argue with someone like her then ya go ahead keep it up.
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Unread postby WeaponOfMassInstruction » Wed Aug 24, 2005 10:57 pm

Since MrSinatra has opened the door for Jokes Including Historical Figures, here's my favorites:

Winston Churchill was at a party and was seated next to a very attractive young lady.

After one too many brandies one too many times, he looked over at her and asked "Young lady, would you sleep with me for 1000 pounds?"

The young lady replied that she might indeed.

Churchill then asked her if she'd sleep with him for 10 pounds.

The young lady replied, "Certainly not! What kind of a woman do you think I am?"

Replied Churchill, "We've already established that; now we're haggling over price!"

The second one involves much the same setting, save that the woman isn't particularly attractive.

Churchill, enjoying his brandy a bit too much, begins talking loudly.
The woman seated beside him admonishes him, saying "Sir Winston! You're drunk!"

To which Churchill replied, "Indeed madam, I am. But in the morning you will still be ugly whilst I will be indisputably sober!"

Gotta love Churchill.
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William F. Buckley, Jr.
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Unread postby Jim Rutledge » Tue May 29, 2007 11:28 pm

Mr. B wrote:

Dear Ann:

I have a problem. I have two brothers. One brother is in television news, the other was put to death in the electric chair for murder. My mother died from insanity when I was three years old. My sisters are prostitutes and my father sells narcotics to high school students. Recently I met a girl who was just released from a reformatory where she served time for smothering her illegitimate child to death, and I want to marry her.

My problem is -- if I marry this girl, should I tell her about my brother who is in television news?

Mr. B, this is very sick humor. It is also very uncivil.

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Unread postby MrSinatra » Tue May 29, 2007 11:36 pm

i hope u don't actually believe that for a second, and really, give us all a break already.

:roll:
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steve1633 wrote:if you havent realized yet that pp posts offer little in the way of intelligent discourse then youre dumber than i suspected, if its just easier to argue with someone like her then ya go ahead keep it up.
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Unread postby Cortese » Wed May 30, 2007 5:30 am

Mr. B? I thought it was Mr. G? Please correct if I'm wrong Mr. S.

Sincerely,

Mr. C
Life-long fan of the Military/Industrial/Janitorial/Custodial/Welfare-State/Pork-Laden/Mortgage & Bank Bailout Complex
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