the need to know

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the need to know

Unread postby robin in fl » Tue May 03, 2011 3:17 pm

This is not really a political post, just a random one I guess..

Over the past years I have seen what looks like to me a VERY nosey society. People seem to want details and more and more details once you give them a couple.And if a person does not give up the details,some will just assume,or make things up.


I don't know about anyone else, but I have always felt if a person wanted to tell me something about themselves, such as their job or whatever, they would tell me if it was casual conversation. After all it was really non of my business if I didn't know the person or may never see them again. Besides the fact that people can and do lie. And they lie or over fabricate a LOT. Sorry but they do.

I know some will say it's just friendly conversation..ok??? well IMO ,friendly non personal conversation would be about movies or books or TV shows..a number of non invasive things I could think of as 'just friendly'..and if I don't actually know a person well, chances are they are NOT my friend anyway.

I understand with all these social network sites that people use the friend word so casually now, as in "I have a million face book friends'..ummmmm ok?....well I don't even have a Facebook, so I guess I have no friends. How do I exist I wonder, but I do, even with out a twit or a FB ....

See I am one of the elusive private people. I tell people what I want them to know. I have no desire to tell every aspect of my life, or what mundane task I may be doing at every moment. I get a bit put off when a person asks what I do for a living ( now I just say to them
"I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."
Tennessee Williams, A Streetcar Named Desire (1947)..).because I thought that was a cool movie and it shuts them up!

So have we become an intrusive society into others affairs more then ever now???Have manners been replaced by the "need" to know that which is NOT our business???Have people become a breed of humans that need inner validation so much ,that they want every detail of their life( even if overblown and maybe not actual fact), to be known to anyone who will listen???..I am a firm believer in less is more sometimes.

So I for one get an uncomfortable feeling if I feel as though I am being interrogated by someone ,after all it really is my prerogative on how much information I want to share with people. That's not to say I have some horrible secrets or bad thing about me I am wanting to hide. It's just I have no need to try and sell myself to be liked or popular and believe that no matter what, some will like me and some won't,it's as simple as that... And I am OK either way !
I have learned you can't please everyone ..................But it's possible to make'em all mad at the same time.
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the need to know

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Re: the need to know

Unread postby Jeffreydan » Wed May 04, 2011 1:23 am

I can't say I agree with your take on talking about your job. To me it's just another topic, less trite than "some weather, huh?" and more appropriate than "what surgeries have you had?"

I am, however, a pretty introverted guy, with just a smidge of misanthrope to make it interesting. So I can appreciate being selective about what you'll chat about.
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Re: the need to know

Unread postby Cap'n Billy » Wed May 04, 2011 2:53 pm

It's always the prerogative of the person who posesses information about his job, religion, politics and all his other private interests to share however much of that information he chooses with others. Anybody who is offended when someone declines to share that kind of information is not worth bothering with. I never request or volunteer information about these matters, but when asked I will usually share as much as I feel appropriate given the circumstances and the people involved. And God help the person who asks me about my former line of work, as he will probably get more information than he ever asked for or wanted. There's an old joke, "How do you know if someone in your party is a pilot? He'll tell you." I'm also president of a couple of local arts organizations, so I'll usually take advantage of any opportunity to talk about them if I perceive the other person or persons as prospective members.

My dear wife, however, is another matter. She usually starts conversations with "What do you do?" followed by "What church do you go to?" I used to wince when she did this, but I'm used to it now. She is a long-time choir director, and has lived her entire life in an environment where almost EVERYbody goes to some church, while it has been otherwise for me.
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Re: the need to know

Unread postby robin in fl » Wed May 04, 2011 4:18 pm

oh please don't get me wrong..i can enjoy a good conversation as much as the next person..I just hate it when i get an 'interogation'..I mean sometimes there are some pretty creepy people out there that really do not need to know about everything I have ever done in my life within the first 15 minutes of a conversation.

i have met some that no sooner ask a question ,before i can even reply are throwing a second and third question at me ...at that point i look at them like WTF?????

and all the personal info people put on those sites now,without even knowing what type of person may be looking at it,I just don't get.....but I'm sure it makes life easier for a stalker..and take it from someone who was stalked before there were anti stalking laws...it really SUCKS!!!!..

I have a vast interest in things to talk about,but it's things I'm comfortable about speaking about and how well I may know a person before I do.

though my sister is the exact opposite.She is like your wife captbilly,,she just starts right off with the questions..lol .. :shock:
I have learned you can't please everyone ..................But it's possible to make'em all mad at the same time.
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Re: the need to know

Unread postby robin in fl » Wed May 04, 2011 4:29 pm

Jeffreydan wrote:I can't say I agree with your take on talking about your job. To me it's just another topic, less trite than "some weather, huh?" and more appropriate than "what surgeries have you had?"

I am, however, a pretty introverted guy, with just a smidge of misanthrope to make it interesting. So I can appreciate being selective about what you'll chat about.



yes,but what if I were an assassin?? ..at that point I would have to use the line,"I can't talk about it or I would have to kill you" !!!!. :D .unless of course I had already spoke of it..OH OH!! too late. :o

ok,,just for the record ,that was said in jest..since you all do not know me ,I must mention I have a 'dark' sense of humor ;)
I have learned you can't please everyone ..................But it's possible to make'em all mad at the same time.
robin in fl
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Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2011 5:52 pm


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